Hell Hole?

Okie, seems like i should have written on tue and yesterday. Since they were the worse days of my life. Been in Penang since Tuesday. Crap manager tells me on monday almost noon that I am to pack and leave for Penang.

Been in Penang for 3 days now. On Tuesday, had the greatest nitemare. Arrived here, went straight to work. Okie the environment here is not good. Firstly, I am being dump with the programming crap. Something that I have always known that I won't like it. Then becoz of the emotional stress about the restructure. Everyone told me its better to have a job so i thought i will give a try. But after this, I realized that I am not cut out to be a coder.. seriously dreadful.

And this assignment here is not just a normal reports per se kind of coding. Its totally different, even the girl who is suppose to help me here doesn't know how to help me. She has mentioned that the code is too complex. Then what am I to do.

Totally depressing. On Tuesday i couldnt' sleep obviously. Didn't even know how to start the coding. Imagine that. Then I told the PM, I don't know how to start. Then decided to finish up some other ppl's program. The gal has gone for vacation.

OH! GOODNES!!!! reading people's code can be total mental torture.

Something really incredible happened on Wed at 4am when i couldn't sleep. I went totally crazy. Started crying. And I asked God to Help me. Coz i didn't know what to do and the mental torture was killing me.
Then i went to dial up to my office to kill time. At 5am, I try to sleep. I prayed and then while closing my eyes, I had a vision. A vision of lady sitting at the top edge of the bed very close to my head and she made the sign of the cross on my forehead. She was wearing a light blue almost greyish type of dress. I think its Mother Mary. I dont' think its my imagination. After that i just slept off and woke up at 7am. I asked for rest! coz i was so tired.

Well since then and about 5.30pm today I manage to progress abit. But not much. Well.. this blog is getting long. I should end it....

Hopefully i will be better and someone will come rescue me from this shit! soon! or else I will be a crazy woman!!!!!